Learning Computer

"Learning Computer" mission completion screen

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Pierce

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Min. Kills

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Live! With Killbane	Stop all the Downloading

Objectives

Go to Kinzie's Hideout
Get to STAG PR Center
Clear lobby
Get to garage
Steal tank
Escape garage
Catch truck
Damage truck wheels

Rewards

$10,000
2500 Respect

"Learning Computer" is a mission in Saints Row: The Third.

Kinzie: "Oh God! What the hell are you doing?!"
Pierce: "Going after the truck."
Kinzie: "I said DON'T use the tank!"

— Kinzie Kensington reprimands Pierce after he and Playa go after the supercomputer with a Crusader.

Overview[]

Playa and Pierce meet with Kinzie Kensington at Kinzie's Warehouse to discuss the Deckers. Kinzie explains that Playa's helicopter crashed^[1] because Matt Miller hacked into its flight computer and fried it with an EMP. Kinzie then asks they and Pierce steal a powerful "learning computer" in STAG's possession that will allow her to "worm into their mainframe [and] do all sorts of naughty things". Miller learns of Kinzie's objective and sends his Deckers in an attempt to acquire the computer before Kinzie can; Kinzie sends Playa and Pierce to the PR Center, where the computer is located, to stop the Deckers and get the computer back to her.

The duo head to the PR Center and encounter a fierce battle between the Deckers and STAG. They head on down to the garage and commandeer a STAG Crusader tank, which they use to take the computer from the Deckers, who had loaded it onto the back of a truck. When the two bring the supercomputer to Kinzie, she states that she'll next need a very specific chair, leading to the events of "Stop all the Downloading".

Gameplay[]

Go to Kinzie's Hideout
Get to STAG PR Center

From Kinzie's Warehouse, drive to the PR Center and gun down the STAG and Deckers engaged with each other outside.

Clear lobby

Then head through and kill everyone inside in the lobby; reinforcements arrive from the two elevators after killing a certain amount of enemies.

Get to garage

Head to the elevator once they're all down. In the garage, the Deckers present can be ignored.

Steal tank

Get into the Crusader tank.

Escape garage

Wait for Pierce to climb in, blast the barricade, and drive on out onto the streets.

Catch truck

Drive towards the Flatbed truck.

Damage truck wheels

Damage the truck's wheels until they are fully punctured.

Rewards[]

Cash: $10,000
Respect: 2500
Stronghold: Stop all the Downloading

Newscast[]

Like a high tech hot potato, one of the most powerful supercomputers in North America has been taken from STAG by the Deckers, who have now lost it to the Saints. Remarkably, it appears that the computer took no damage during these violent exchanges and the Saints are believed to have it secured in an undisclosed location. There is no official word regarding the Saints' plans for the computer, but rumors are beginning to swirl around an ambitious new spin on virtual reality porn. Stay tuned for further details; this is Jane Valderamma with your Steelport Mobile Computing News.

— Jane Valderamma

Trivia[]

Pierce finds and takes a newspaper clip mentioning Lin and plays around with a Penetrator in the opening cutscene.
While in the PR Center with Pierce, an argument occurs between Kinzie Kensington and Matt Miller which ends with Kinzie saying, "Yak yak yak... Get a job", a quote from the 1995 film Hackers.
Destroying the Crusader after getting outside does not seem to fail the mission. Using it beyond this point is not necessary, and anything else that can pop tires, such as Kneecappers on owned vehicles, could be used in place.
Even though the mission scripts mention a "Machine Gun", the Crusader only has energy weapons.
In co-op play, only one player has to take the tank; the other player can take whatever vehicle they want.
In single player, due to AI programming, Pierce blindly fires the laser at enemies and sometimes hits and damages the Flatbed truck, causing it to explode and the player to fail the mission (his firing the laser at everything that moves also makes it more difficult to aim at the tires). In co-op, a second player can control the laser rather than Pierce.
If a Fart in a Jar is thrown in the truck, the text "##UNKNOWN_STRING##" appears above the Map.
When the truck stops, it makes a similar motion to when it is possessed by the RC Possessor.
A unique tan N-Forcer can be obtained in this mission; chase the truck until three N-Forcers appear blocking the path. Get out from the tank, get in the N-Forcer, cancel the mission, and drive the vehicle to the Garage.
The music played while chasing the truck is "Last Man Standing" by Hybrid.
Despite the supercomputer belonging to STAG, it features Ultor logos on its sides and back.
The name of this mission may come from a quote in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day, where the Terminator says, "My CPU is a neural net processor: a learning computer". In fact, the whole entire "Learning Computer" mission string could be inspired by the Terminator films.
In the ending cutscene, Kinzie uses her laptop outside, and the rain somehow doesn't damage it.
Two Saints members spawn near the entrance to Kinzie's Warehouse after starting the mission and can be recruited.
When the elevator doors open to the basement, it is possible to see the STAG soldiers die.

Transcript[]

Prologue[]

Playa - Male 1: "The Deckers are a problem, Kinzie."
Kinzie Kensington: "I've been working on that."
Playa - Male 1: "And? What have you come up with?"
Kinzie Kensington: "Well, I guess you were bound to be here someday."
Playa - Male 1: "What are you talking about?"
Kinzie Kensington: "Come to my place. I'll show you what we're gonna need."

— Pre-mission phone call (Male 1)

Kinzie Kensington: "I'm a little busy..."
Playa - Male 2: "To bad, I wanna make a move against the Deckers..."
Kinzie Kensington: "Whaddya think I'm working on?"
Playa - Male 2: "I don't know what you're working on because you never tell me."
Kinzie Kensington: "Sorry."
Playa - Male 2: "It's ok, you'll fill me in when I come over..."
Kinzie Kensington: "What?"
Playa - Male 2: "Pierce and I headin' over."
Kinzie Kensington: "You can't come, its my inner sanctum..."
Playa - Male 2: "Yeah, too bad."

— Pre-mission phone call (Male 2)

Kinzie Kensington: "Figured you would call."
Playa - Male 3: "The Deckers are a bigger problem than we thought. I need something to stop them."
Kinzie Kensington: "I've finished my analysis of the Deckers' network and infrastructure and determined the needed processing power and hardware requirements for accessing their mainframe."
Playa - Male 3: "Uh huh..."
Kinzie Kensington: "I've worked REALLY hard and know what we need to go after the Deckers."
Playa - Male 3: "Fine, where do you need me?"
Kinzie Kensington: "Um, well, my place has all the data. I guess you can come here. I mean, it makes sense. Right?"
Playa - Male 3: "I've seen your place before, Kinzie."
Kinzie Kensington: "Not my inner sanctum."
Playa - Male 3: "Right..."

— Pre-mission phone call (Male 3)

Playa - Female 1: "Kinzie, where're you at?"
Kinzie Kensington: "Um, why do you need to know?"
Playa - Female 1: "After that chopper thing, I'd like to get those fucking Deckers."
Kinzie Kensington: "I've been busy."
Playa - Female 1: "If it gets us to the Deckers, busy is good."
Kinzie Kensington: "It does."
Playa - Female 1: "Alright, then what's next?"
Kinzie Kensington: "Well, next..."
Playa - Female 1: "Anytime now."
Kinzie Kensington: "Come to my place."
Playa - Female 1: "What's the problem? You afraid I won't like the plan?"
Kinzie Kensington: "No..."
Playa - Female 1: "Then what?"
Kinzie Kensington: "I've never allowed anyone in my inner sanctum before."
Playa - Female 1: "Inner... sanctum..."
Kinzie Kensington: "My sacred, private room."
Playa - Female 1: "... Wow."

— Pre-mission phone call (Female 1)

Kinzie Kensington: "Was wondering when you'd call."
Playa - Female 2: "Am I that predictable?"
Kinzie Kensington: "With the right algorithm most people are, actually."
Playa - Female 2: "You figure out the Deckers then?"
Kinzie Kensington: "I think so. Come by my place, I'll fill you in."
Playa - Female 2: "Why does this make me nervous..."
Kinzie Kensington: "You shouldn't be. My place has a lot of character."
Playa - Female 2: "I bet..."

— Pre-mission phone call (Female 2)

Playa - Female 3: "I don't like it when helicopters crash while I'm in them, Kinzie."
Kinzie Kensington: "I don't blame you."
Playa - Female 3: "Any luck on making sure it doesn't happen again?"
Kinzie Kensington: "Come to me and we'll talk."
Playa - Female 3: "Meet you at the diner..."
Kinzie Kensington: "Not there. My place."
Playa - Female 3: "Smiling Jack's not good enough for you anymore?"
Kinzie Kensington: "It isn't my inner sanctum."
Playa - Female 3: "Do I even want to know what I'm walking into?"
Kinzie Kensington: "The less questions you ask, the better."

— Pre-mission phone call (Female 3)

Kinzie Kensington: "I know about the helicopter."
Playa - Zombie: "Snarls"
Kinzie Kensington: "I'm close to being able to go after the Deckers directly, but I'll need your help."
Playa - Zombie: "Gargles"
Kinzie Kensington: "Won't explain over the phone. Come to my place."

— Pre-mission phone call (Zombie)

Cutscene #1[]

Kinzie: "You can hit the light."
Playa: "It's...homey."
Pierce: "I don't see a bed."
Kinzie: "Sleep is forbidden."
Playa: "What the fuck did the Deckers do to the chopper?"
Kinzie: "Matt must have hacked into its flight computer and fried it with an EMP."
Pierce: "You can do that?"
Kinzie: "You can do a lot worse. If Matt gets the Decker Use-Net plugged into the central powergrid it's...trust me, it's bad."
Playa: "So how do we nail the Deckers?"
Kinzie: "If I could worm into their mainframe I'd do all sorts of naughty things. But I don't have the gear for that."
Playa: "What would you need?"
Kinzie: "Something like this."
Kinzie: "That's one of the most powerful learning computers in North America... And STAG'S got one."
Matt Miller: "Thanks for the tip Agent Kensington."
Kinzie: "Damn it..."
Playa: "Wait--that punk kid is Matt?"
Matt Miller: "That punk kid is the cyber god who just crashed your helicopter. Cheers!"
Kinzie: "His people are probably halfway to the computer by now! GO!"

— Opening Cutscene

Gameplay[]

Playa - Female 1: "Tell me the computer's close, Kinzie."
Playa - Female 2: "Where is STAG keeping this computer, Kinzie?"
Playa - Female 3: "So Kinzie, where is this computer?"
Playa - Male 1: "Kinzie, where's the computer being held?"
Playa - Male 2: "Where's that computer, Kinzie?"
Playa - Male 3: "Kinzie, where's the computer?"
Playa - Zombie: "Gargles"

Kinzie: "At the STAG PR Center. Hurry."

— "Mission Start"

Pierce: "So you and Shaundi were beaten by a little punk like Miller?"

Playa - Female 1: "Crashing a helicopter isn't beating; that's cheating."
Playa - Female 2: "The helicopter went down, and he took the credit."
Playa - Female 3: "He didn't beat us, he just crashed our helicopter."
Playa - Male 1: "Beaten? He crashed our fucking helicopter."
Playa - Male 2: "He crashed our helicopter, he didn't kill us."
Playa - Male 3: "You kidding me? Our helicopter crashed."
Playa - Zombie: "Growls"

Pierce: "That sounds like you lost to me."

Playa - Female 1: "Pierce, I have a gun..."
Playa - Female 2: "There will be a rematch. Cast your bets now."
Playa - Female 3: "Keep laughing."
Playa - Male 1: "Put me in a room with Miller and we'll see who loses."
Playa - Male 2: "Shut up."
Playa - Male 3: "Go on, laugh it up..."
Playa - Zombie: "Grumbles"

— "Drive 1"

Kinzie: "Aren't you there yet?"

Playa - Female 1: "If I didn't have to answer your call, maybe I would be."
Playa - Female 2: "Relax, we'll make it."
Playa - Female 3: "Workin' on it."
Playa - Male 1: "Calm down, we'll get there."
Playa - Male 2: "Hey man, slow up. We're almost there."
Playa - Male 3: "Calm down, we'll get there."
Playa - Zombie: "Moans"

Kinzie: "I don't want that little bastard beating me again."

Playa - Female 1: "Not a chance, hon."
Playa - Female 2: "Not possible, Kinzie. This time you have the Saints behind you."
Playa - Female 3: "It's not gonna happen."
Playa - Male 1: "Don't worry, he won't."
Playa - Male 2: "Not gonna happen, girl."
Playa - Male 3: "Don't worry, he won't."
Playa - Zombie: "Mumbles"

— "Drive 2"

Pierce: "Kinzie's a little high strung, don't you think?"

Playa - Female 1: "As long as she stays grounded in reality we'll be fine."
Playa - Female 2: "Perhaps a little. She may be eccentric, but at least she is sane."
Playa - Female 3: "She stares at a computer all day and never goes out in the real world. I'm surprised she's still sane."
Playa - Male 1: "She barely goes out and stares at that screen most of the time. I'm surprised she's still sane."
Playa - Male 2: "Think we're all that's keeping her sane..."
Playa - Male 3: "For someone who spends most of her time glued to a moniter, I'm surprised she's still sane."
Playa - Zombie: "Moans"

Pierce: "You sure she still is?"

— "Drive 3"

Pierce: "Looks like the Deckers started the party."

Playa - Female 1: "Then they can pick up the tab."
Playa - Female 2: "True, but that doesn't mean they will enjoy the end of it."
Playa - Female 3: "And we're gonna crash it."
Playa - Male 1: "Well guess we're crashing then."
Playa - Male 2: "So we're fashionably late."
Playa - Male 3: "Well guess we're crashing then."
Playa - Zombie: "Grunts"

Pierce: "Kinzie'd never forgive us if they got that computer first."

Playa - Female 1: "Don't worry, it's not gonna happen."
Playa - Female 2: "She's counting on us. I will not let her down."
Playa - Female 3: "They're not going to."
Playa - Male 1: "Then make sure they don't."
Playa - Male 2: "You ain't lyin...."
Playa - Male 3: "Then make sure it don't happen."
Playa - Zombie: "Groans"

— "Arrival"

Pierce: "STAG sure has a lot of tech in here."

Playa - Female 1: "Yeah, but I'm not seeing Kinzie's new toy."
Playa - Female 2: "If only we had time to look around and take some."
Playa - Female 3: "Who cares about the rest of this shit... where's the computer?"
Playa - Male 1: "This shit all looks the same to me, where's the computer..."
Playa - Male 2: "Yeah, but which one's the computer?"
Playa - Male 3: "I can't tell one thing from the other. Where's the bloody computer?"
Playa - Zombie: "Groans"

— "STAG Tech"

Matt Miller: "Don't leave any of those pathetic peons standing."
Kinzie: "Go home, Matt, and take your little Deckers with you."
Matt Miller: "Well someone's a sore loser, Agent Kensington."
Kinzie: "You haven't won yet."
Matt Miller: "If you're referring to your two pawns, they're too late."
Kinzie: "We'll see about that."
Matt Miller: "What's to see, except the epic failure that is the Saints?"
Kinzie: "A bit overconfident?"
Matt Miller: "I am the one who got here first. I am the one leaving with the computer. I..."
Kinzie: "Yak yak yak... get a job."

— "PA Speakers 1"

Kinzie: "The Deckers are loading my computer in the garage. Get. Moving."

Playa - Female 1: "You have some psychic bond with this computer or some shit?"
Playa - Female 2: "How can you be sure of that?"
Playa - Female 3: "Who told you that?"
Playa - Male 1: "How do you know that?"
Playa - Male 2: "You got spies here or something?"
Playa - Male 3: "How'd you know that?"
Playa - Zombie: "Gargles"

Kinzie: "I hacked the security feed."

— "Get to Garage"

Playa - Female 1: "There goes the truck and here comes the Deckers."
Playa - Female 2: "Kinzie, that truck is moving and we are pinned down."
Playa - Female 3: "Hey Kinzie, just so you know... we're not alone."
Playa - Male 1: "Kinzie, the truck's moving out and we have company here."
Playa - Male 2: "The truck's on it's way out the door and there's Deckers everywhere."
Playa - Male 3: "Kinzie, trucks on the way but we've got a little company..."
Playa - Zombie: "Growls"

Kinzie: "I called in reinforcements for you guys."
Pierce: "Fuck reinforcements, we got a tank."
Kinzie: "Oh no, don't you dare! I don't want that thing anywhere near my computer!"

Playa - Female 1: "I wouldn't dream of taking the tank, Kinzie."
Playa - Female 2: "Alright Kinzie, we will do this your way."
Playa - Female 3: "Oh. Guess we can't use the tank then..."
Playa - Male 1: "Ok, ok... we won't use the tank"
Playa - Male 2: "You win, we won't use the tank..."
Playa - Male 3: "Don't worry, love. Tank is off limits."
Playa - Zombie: "Roars"

Pierce: "Really?"

Playa - Female 1: "Do you even know me? Of course we're taking the tank!"
Playa - Female 2: "Of course not. Come on. I'll drive."
Playa - Female 3: "Psh. Of course we are. Don't be ridiculous."
Playa - Male 1: "Fuck no, we're getting our tank on."
Playa - Male 2: "Fuck no..."
Playa - Male 3: "Course not. Have you gone mental?"
Playa - Zombie: "Grunts"

— "Garage Enter"

Pierce: "Maybe..."
Kinzie: "Ok, following the truck on street cams and... Oh god! What the hell are you doing?!"
Pierce: "Going after the truck."
Kinzie: "I said DON'T use the tank!"

Playa - Female 1: "I wasn't sure on your position... had to make a judgement call."
Playa - Female 2: "We were a little short on time, Kinzie."
Playa - Female 3: "*fake static* What was that? I didn't get that?"
Playa - Male 1: "Relax, we won't use the cannon."
Playa - Male 2: "Whoops."
Playa - Male 3: "What if we don't use the cannon?"
Playa - Zombie: "Groans"

Pierce: "Kinzie you're breaking up..."
Kinzie: "No I'm not, you're just using your mouth to pretend like you are!"

Playa - Female 1: "*fake static* It's a... solar flare... yeah..."
Playa - Female 2: "Kinzie, uh, Kinzie! I am not hearing you!"
Playa - Female 3: "*fake static* Kin-- I can't--radio--goodbye."
Playa - Male 1: "What's that Kinzie..."
Playa - Male 2: "Hey you... you still there, Kinzie...?"
Playa - Male 3: "Uh, I can't... I can't hear you, Kinz!"
Playa - Zombie: "Garbled"

Kinzie: "Ugh. Use the machine gun then, NOT the cannon."

Playa - Female 1: "She may try to kill us this time."
Playa - Female 2: "She seems upset, no?"
Playa - Female 3: "We're gonna regret this, aren't we?"
Playa - Male 1: "You think she's mad?"
Playa - Male 2: "A little too far?"
Playa - Male 3: "You think she's mad?"
Playa - Zombie: "Growls"

— "Truck Chase 1"

Kinzie: "Not the cannon, not the cannon!"
Kinzie: "Do you want me to kill you both!?"

— "Do Not Shoot Cannon"

Pierce: "There goes a tire."
Pierce: "Damn, nice shot."
Pierce: "Alright, one more."

— "Shoot Tires"

Cutscene #2[]

Playa: "So you're set, right?"
Kinzie: "Almost. I need a chair."
Playa: "I'll give you 50 bucks, pick out a nice one."
Kinzie: "Funny. I'll explain it all once this thing's set up."

— Closing Cutscene

Unsorted[]

Pierce: "Shit, the Deckers are tryin' to slow us down."

Playa - Female 1: "Can't imagine why..."
Playa - Female 2: "Bah. They are hardly worth noticing."
Playa - Female 3: "Now you figure that out?"
Playa - Male 1: "You think?"
Playa - Male 2: "Can't imagine why..."
Playa - Male 3: "What gave it away?"
Playa - Zombie: "Groans"

— "Decker Roadblocks 1"

Man, this shit just ain't fair.

— Pierce, "Decker Roadblocks"

We better get in there before they take that thing.

— Pierce, "Get In"

Damn, there's even more in here.

— Pierce, "M15"

Matt Miller: "Having fun yet?"

Playa: "Oh jesus fucking christ..."
Playa - Zombie: "Groans"

Matt Miller: "You and that slag Kensington ready to beg for mercy?"

Playa: "Are you ready to shut the fuck up?"
Playa - Zombie: "Babbles"

Matt Miller: "Look at you puffing your chest like your someone who's important. You better understand that you have no tactic I haven't planned for. You see, you'll never be as smart as me, but there's not one thing you can do that I can't."

Playa: "Oh yeah? Buy a pack of cigarettes."
Playa - Zombie: "Grumbles"

Matt Miller: "Agist."

— "Matt Player Convo"

Playa - Female 1: "Deckers did all the heavy lifting for us. This worked out well."
Playa - Female 2: "Kinzie will be unhappy if the Deckers forgot to pack everything."
Playa - Female 3: "Lucky they packed that computer up for us."
Playa - Male 1: "Was awful nice of the Deckers to get this thing loaded up for us."
Playa - Male 2: "We should hire the Deckers to load shit up more often."
Playa - Male 3: "How sweet of the Deckers to get this thing loaded up for us."
Playa - Zombie: "Groans"

Pierce: "Speaking of which, how're we gonna move it after we blow out the tires?"

Playa - Female 1: "This is a tank we're in, right...?"
Playa - Female 2: "I was thinking we would use the tank."
Playa - Female 3: "Uh... tank...?"
Playa - Male 1: "Pierce... tank..."
Playa - Male 2: "We use the tank."
Playa - Male 3: "What the fuck you mean? We're in a bloody tank..."
Playa - Zombie: "Roars"

Pierce: "I suppose that'll work."

Playa - Female 1: "Let's do it."
Playa - Female 2: "What's the worst that could happen?"
Playa - Female 3: "I worry about you. I really do."
Playa - Male 1: "I worry about you sometimes..."
Playa - Male 2: "I'm takin' Shaundi next time..."
Playa - Male 3: "I worry about you sometimes, mate..."
Playa - Zombie: "Mumbles"

— "More Truck Combat"

She wasn't kidding about reinforcements. Looks like the crew has this shit under control.

— Pierce, "Reaction to Exiting"