Marked: 20. Minimum kills: 0
- Homeless bums, now more homeless
- — Stilwater Gazette newspaper headline
Johnny Gat calls Playa and tells him to come to Aisha's house. When Playa arrives, Johnny hands them a beer and surprises Aisha, who was coming downstairs after seeing Johnny use the table as a bottle opener. They decide that they need to reestablish the 3rd Street Saints and take back Stilwater; and the first step towards accomplishing this is to find a hideout. Gat and Playa opt for Aisha's house, but she blankly refuses them, so they leave in search of somewhere else.
Gat points out that part of the city was once destroyed by an earthquake long ago, and that they should be able to set up in an old hotel located beneath an old mission house. He also reminds Playa that the Saints Row Church is no longer an option since Ultor renovated it for tourism.
After they reach the abandoned mission and work their way down, Gat and Playa kill the current residents of the dilapidated hotel - a few Sons of Samedi and some bums - paving the way for the 3rd Street Saints.
The following text has been transcribed verbatim from the game files.
Upon completion of the Mission, it is available in-game at Newspaper Clipboards.
- Drive Gat to the abandoned mission
Drive to the abandoned mission.
- Make your way underground
After entering through the double doors, a short path downward lies ahead, which leads to the future site of the Saints Hideout. Currently, however, the tenants consist of a few bums and Sons of Samedi.
- Kill the Samedi
- HUD: Samedi Killed X/14
There are fourteen marked Sons of Samedi who must be killed to complete this objective. They are all lightly armed, but may use Molotov Cocktails. The majority of enemies are situated outside the hotel and on different floors, so use the radar on the HUD to locate them all.
- Destroy the shanties
The shanties cannot be destroyed with bullets, or by throwing Improvised Weapons, but can be destroyed with Molotovs. They immediately collapse upon any contact with a ragdolled character, such as when a bum or Playa collapses next to a shanty.
- Kill the remaining bums
After all shantys are destroyed, there are 6 marked bums who must die to complete the mission.
- Cash: $1,000
- Respect: None
- Neighborhood: Old Stilwater
- Mission: Three Kings
- Stronghold: Stilwater Caverns
- Crib: Saints Hideout
- Main article: Newscasts
- When replaying this mission via a Newspaper Clipboard after the Saints Hideout has been upgraded, Johnny Gat still says they should add a stripper pole, despite the fact that there is one right in front of them.
- The mission's newscast and Newspaper Clipboard text contradict each other; the newscast claims that there are fewer bums on the street but the text states that the city is becoming overcrowded with them.
- In the opening cutscene, Aisha expresses her surprise that Playa is talking, referring to the first Saints Row game, in which Playa had only four lines.
- The shanties can be destroyed by throwing anyone in them - this is most obvious when replaying the mission after the Saints Hideout has been upgraded, and then throwing a prostitute or 3rd Street Saints gang member into them.
- The parking meters outside the hotel make for very powerful Improvised Weapons when thrown, as they cause enemies to ragdoll and fly away when hit.
- This mission was originally to have ended with a fight against "Bum-aga", a giant wielding a stop sign.
- Sup, it's Gat. Meet me at Aisha's place, we gotta figure out our next move.
"You Don't Have To Go Home..." cutscene
- Johnny Gat: "Well, come on in..."
Johnny Gat: "You wanna beer?"
Playa: "Yeah, that'd be great."
Aisha: "Johnny, who's that?"
Johnny Gat: "Come to the living room and find out."Johnny slams his hand on the lid as the bottle rests on the table, opening it as Aisha comes down.Aisha: "Johnny, I don't care if you just broke out of jail, you do not mess with my furni- Oh my God, it's you."
Playa: "Surprised Aisha?"
Aisha: "What, that you're here or that you're talking?"
Playa: "Pick one."
Aisha: "We all thought you were dead..."
Playa: "I almost was."
Aisha: "Well, for someone who was blown to hell, you look great...did you do something with your hair?"
Playa: "I've been getting that a lot..."
Johnny Gat: "Can we get back to business?"
Aisha: "What's the rush?"
Johnny Gat: "I've been cooped up on death row, and that bitch's been laid out in a coma..."
Playa: "We definitely need to remind motherfuckers who we are."
Aisha: "And that can't wait until after dinner?"
Playa and Johnny Gat: "No."
Aisha: "You two haven't changed at all."
Johnny Gat: "Well ya know, there's a saying about dogs and blowing shit up... so what's the plan?"
Playa: "We get our crew together, once we got that we can work on how we're takin' back our city."
Johnny Gat: "Sounds good."
Aisha: "And where were you planning on having this little meeting?"Playa and Johnny Gat look at Aisha, then at each other, then around the house.Aisha: "No."
Johnny Gat: "Well, this place is pretty spacious..."
Playa: "The color's very soothing..."
Johnny Gat: "Come on Eesh..."
Aisha: "This ain't no fuckin' gang clubhouse..."
Johnny Gat: "Change of plans..."
Playa: "We gotta find a new place?"
Johnny Gat: "Yeah, you got it."
- — "You Don't Have To Go Home..." cutscene
- Johnny Gat: "Head over to the old mission house, we should be able to set up shop there..."
Playa: "Why don't we just set up shop at the church?"
Johnny Gat: "Ultor's renovated it and turned it into a tourist trap."
Playa: "You're kidding me."
Johnny Gat: "Wish I was, we gotta find a new place and the mission house'll be perfect."
Playa: "Religious buildings are kinda been there done that..."
Johnny Gat: "We're not staying in the mission. Now check it out. Years ago an earthquake dropped part of the city below sea level, and rather than clearing out the rubble, the city built over it. There's an abandoned hotel below the mission that'll work for us."
Playa: "Alright, what's the catch?"
Johnny Gat: "We gotta evict the current tenants..."
Playa: "Sounds like fun..."
- — Mission start
"Make Yourself At Home" cutscene
- Johnny Gat: "So...whatcha think?"
Playa: "It's kind of a shit hole."
Johnny Gat: "True dat... but it's a shit hole with potential."
Playa: "I dunno man..."
Johnny Gat: "Oh come on, a stripper pole, some flat screens...maybe some nicer furniture..."
Playa: "You had me at stripper pole."
Johnny Gat: "Fuckin' A..."
- — "Make Yourself At Home" cutscene